grandma shit on top of the toilet
apparently the secret to your success is patron
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
