Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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