I wish I only lived at night.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
