before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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