I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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