Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
