If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Randomize
