Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
