I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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