I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
