i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
