I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
