Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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