:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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