I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
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