I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
We left the knife in your bed.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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