Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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