Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
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