question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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