Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
