can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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