when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
