on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
only if we run a train.
done.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
