I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
