FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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