There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
