The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
