I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
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