I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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