4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
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