i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Randomize
