She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
