And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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