This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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