so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
