took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
