What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
