Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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