i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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