Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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