She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
