Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Randomize
