im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
is it fun? or sober?
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
