i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
