also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
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