you would pick up someone in the library
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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