People with herpes should wear stickers.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
