Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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