You can't special order awesome
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
