I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
smell my finger.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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