I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
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Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
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Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Of course I have a pirate flag
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
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