I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
After tacos, we're chasing women.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize