somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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