we have pet lesbian snakes
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
