So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
So much rum. So many feels.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
