You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize