how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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