He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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