Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
