Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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