Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
