Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Randomize
