He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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