You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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