You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize