Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
being pregnant is like rehab
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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